Episode 16: Mark Wolynn—Understanding Core Language, Family Trauma & Nurturing our Inner Child

 

Mark Wolynn is a world leader in a unique form of healing and therapy in the field of Family Trauma. He founded The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco having developed a powerful workshop format and training program for individuals and health care practitioners. He wrote the book, It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, which is an incredible resource that outlines Mark’s discoveries, backed by science and inspired by Mark’s mentor Bert Hellinger. I highly recommend the book, as it also provides eye-opening insights that allow us to connect the dots in our own lives, and awareness is truly the first step to healing. On episode 16 we dive into Mark’s work, how stress responses are passed down generationally and how learning to nurture our inner child is the key to deep healing for each of us.

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The emotions, traits, and behaviors we reject in our parents will likely live on in us. It’s our unconscious way of loving them, a way to bring them back into our lives.
— Mark Wolynn

SHOW NOTES

• 3:00 Mark’s crisis that led to healing path

• 8:30 How inherited trauma works and is passed down

• 10:20 Epigenetic and how stress imprints our genes

• 14:00 How trauma blocks the flow of love

• 17:05 Anxiety being passed through sperm by the father

• 22:00 How mom’s stress is translated with cortisol to baby

• 25:00 Key is to heal the bond with our mothers in two ways

• 28:05 Ways that we can start to re-connect and heal our relationship with parents

• 29:10 Learning to love ourselves, Mark’s steps to heal ourselves 

• 35:00 Retraining our amygdala to ease out of stress-state

• 35:50 Six times a day for one minute, enough to make deep changes internally

• 36:30 We need to experience with our bodies to heal through feeling, not thinking

• 40:25 Two types of Core Language; verbal and non-verbal 

• 44:00 Identifying ancestral alarm clocks for family patterns

• 49:00 Mark’s relationship to language

• 50:00 Finding ‘core fear’ by asking what’s the worst thing that could happen to you?

• 54:15 How our early relationship with our mother shows up with our partners as adults

• 56:35 Edward Tronick’s Still Face experiment

• 60:35 Importance and purpose of rite of passage experience

• 65:20 Exploring the past and being open can break destructive patterns

• 69:30 We have to talk about our trauma to release it

• 71:50 Every-time ‘something’ contracting happens, its trying to be released